Meaningful Monkeys

What's it all about?

Yes, I am talking about religion. Humans search for meaning in their lives. If God offers redemption, then why not cash in? Hallelujah! Pass the potatoes. But at what cost, religion?

There is big money in religion. The “Pope” is flying down to Rio as I speak. Tax-free universities (religious and otherwise) abound in these here United States.
Gotta love tax-free profits. Makes me want to start a church myself.

Unfortunately, I can't help reporting the truth as I see it. What I see is everything is bullshit, just as George Carlin told us in his very last days. Everything is bullshit, and it's bad for you. The Church of Bullshit may not fly with the criminals that run the IRS, but you can always found an educational 501(c). The “law” is rife with bullshit, but I digress...

We are like a troop of monkeys spinning on a rock in space. We barely understand our predicament and so have invented many tales to explain how we found ourselves where we are – wherever that is.

We are just monkeys and we act like it, don't we? (Cue monkeys scrabbling over fruit,) no, we are much worse than monkeys (cue nuclear explosions (think Dr. Strangelove,)) we are human beings.

Obviously, our existence is meaningless, so how can we best pretend it is meaningful? Our relationships with others are the measure of meaningful lives. I love you, no shit, buy me Honda.

Our only hope as a species is to suddenly become rational. Not knee-jerk liberal. Not spittle-flinging, right-wing numb-nuts. We must evolve into rational, logical-thinking individuals who know better than to bother voting. The system is the scam. (Now there's a future title!)

I understand how far into the minority not believing in magic puts me. I am a magical moron. (Title!)


Magic cannot exist in a world of bullshit. I rest my case. Monkeys unite!